Overcoming Depression –
Almost everyone will experience some form or another of depression throughout their lifetime. Recent estimates state that as many as 40% of adults will experience depression as a chronic problem that severely impacts their quality of life including their relationships and physical health. While this figure is staggering, managing and overcoming depression does not need to be. Treatment with antidepressants can be a short term fix, but as we are finding out, antidepressants themselves are not a cure for depression. The most effective way to overcome depression is to understand the underlying causes and change those negative patterns of thinking and behavior.
In order to begin overcoming depression, you must learn to cultivate mindfulness and focus your attention inward without judgement. This process of being aware of what is going on inside of you can be difficult even when not feeling depressed. The modern world is riddled with distractions between the cell phone, text messaging, incoming emails, even your Facebook friends. Often when adults experience depression there is also a corresponding inability to remain focused. While these things may complicate cultivating mindfulness, learning to focus your attention is achievable.
Being mindful, as I noted earlier, is not the same as looking inside yourself and judging every thought or feeling that passes by. Mindfulness is the process of becoming aware of what that inner dialog is. Only when you become aware of a thing can you change it. Perls – the founder of Gestalt Therapy – believed that once you become aware of a thing that you could not help but change it in some way. The key to overcoming depression at this stage is to make changes with intention.
When you become more mindful of your inner thoughts and feelings you will notice that the depression isn’t always the same – it varies in intensity. You may notice certain relationship patterns that make it more intense or that alleviate it. You may also notice thoughts that go through your mind that again either intensify or decrease the depression you experience.
Making changes with intention can be more difficult for some people than the first step of becoming mindful. Often we don’t realize how powerful the force of habit has become in our lives. Every single negative thought and uhealthy relationship you have ever had can form the basis of developing patterns of thinking and relating, which then can become entrenched habits. It is often easier to start with changing those things you feel you have the most control over and gain strength in doing so. This can involve the simple process of listening internally for a particular negative thought and switching it with a positive one. If you can’t think of something positive that you would say to yourself, think of what you might tell a friend who had shared that thought with you. Depression doesn’t always start with our thought patterns, but what goes on inside your own head is the one thing you have the most control over. Most often it is the easiest place to begin focusing to overcome depression.
Chronic depression may also develop because of a pattern of unhealthy relationships in our lives. These relationships are the catalysts that create the negative thinking patterns. It is easy to see how a child who is always told she is stupid by the people she is closest to will begin to believe the statement and even think it for herself. Sometimes these toxic relationships aren’t as immediately obvious, however. Becoming mindful in relationship will help you to examine how you feel in those connections. Do your relationships give you more energy or do you leave feeling drained and unheard? If you continue to feel drained in a relationship, chances are that it is contributing to the depression you feel. Unless you change something about that relationship, the feelings will continue.
Overcoming depression is possible. Working through the process of becoming more aware of your inner dialogue and feelings and then intentionally changing those thoughts and relationships that contribute to the depression will enable you to make life long changes toward becoming more positive, more powerful in yourself, and more resilient in the future. Sometimes we can do this on our own through the healthy relationships that we have in our lifes. Sometimes it is more beneficial to go outside of our circles and find an outsider that can help us maintain that focus and make those intentional changes. If your depression is at the point where this all sounds too overwhelming, it is definitely time to look for some help. For some, mental health issues carry a stigma but it doesn’t need to be that way.
I will talk more in a separate article about how to choose a therapist when you are ready for professional consultation, but I will say this now. The theory that the counselor you choose works from is not nearly as important as your ability to feel comfortable with that person and feel as though you may be able to trust them with your inner thinking – even if you don’t trust them that much right now. In my personal experience as a professional, the two most important contributors to overcoming depression once and for all are a strong network of healthy relationships and/or a therapist you can trust and see regularly for the length of treatment. The therapist’s track record or theoretical orientation in no way guarantee that you will feel comfortable with them.
